Most romantic comedies try hard to woo us and charm us with things like engaging characters, fresh stories or perhaps actual romance. Valentine`s Day is content to rain so many A-list stars down on our heads that we`re eventually bludgeoned into submission. Long and spineless and ultimately grueling, it`s like being shown five-minute clips from the greatest romances of all time, but in grainy YouTube quality and with someone-- someone probably a lot like director-- Garry Marshall sitting beside you to overexplain everything. You`ll walk out feeling not like you`ve enjoyed it, but like you survived.

A woman(Garner) finds her lover(Dempsey) is a cheat, Florist(Kutcher) proposes to his girlfriend(Alba) but she's not sure, a neurotic publicist(Biel) hits it off with a second string Sports presenter(Jamie Foxx), Teen couple (Emma Roberts, Carter Jenkins) plot to lose their virginity but Mom comes in the way, fellow plane-travelers (Cooper, Roberts)get talking and there's a hint that theres more to come only to be deceived by an about turn, a yesteryear actress(Shirley Maclaine) confesses about her past indiscretion to her unsuspecting husband and an adult phone entertainer(Hathaway) falls for a mid-western hick(Grace).

It`s Valentine`s Day. An odd assortment of couples and singletons try to cope up with the hype and hooplah associated with the day, without losing their faith in romance and all that jazz.

There are 21 famous faces crammed into this love-fest. `Name it and you got it` seems to be the approach undertaken in the making of this American `Love Actually` remake. It`s Valentine`s Day and love is all around the million-dollar earning actors. It`s more a matter of convenience and `what sells` as opposed to `let`s get this ensemble cast to act!` Tailormade to suit every age group, sex, ethnicity and sexuality, there`s no opportunity missed to deliver cheesy lines and create stereotypes to suit every romcom situation. Set in LA, the film has interlocking love stories set on V-Day. Devoid of soul or anything remotely inspiring, the plot crumbles under the weight of its ludicrous cast.