Yup, it is the last day of the year. There has been enough written about the best of everything 2015 had to offer. All the bad news have been carefully left behind; for good reasons, of course. However, a dampener is always lurking around the corner.
From the shiny, happy streets of Bollywood came some of the worst delivery of great promises this year. And they must be talked about. Lest we forget how Team Marketing may steam ahead full charge but come Friday, the disappointment is very, very real! So, the next time Aamir Khan shows up with a new hairstyle or a fresh spin on facial hair, be scared for there might be a Ghajini coming.
Pha se ‘Forget it‘! We didn’t have to wait too long into 2015 for this disaster of epic proportions. And before this one hit the screens, boy, were there promises made! The larger than life sets, Karan Johar “like you’ve never seen him before” (and we wished it stayed that way), Ranbir “Say-hello-to-Tony-Montana’s-little-friend” Kapoor etc. etc. And then15 minutes into the movie, you went ‘meh!‘
An emotional social media rant by director Anurag Kashyap post the movie’s sinking is all the entertainment Bombay Velvet provided.
<This conversation may or may not be real>
Expert 1: Let’s remake a movie.
Expert 2: Again?
Expert 1: Yes!
Expert 2: Ok!
Expert 1: Let’s remake ‘Warrior’?
Expert 2: Warri-what?
Expert 1: Never mind that. Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, MMA, full fighting.
Expert 2: Hook kya hai?
Expert 1: It is about two brothers fighting it out in a wrestling ring.
Expert 2: Set! Let’s call the movie ‘Brothers’.
Expert 1: Dooood! Nobody could have seen that one coming.
Sidharth Malhotra: I call dibs for Tom Hardy’s role!
Akshay Kumar: GODDAMMIT!
Jackie Shroff: afssoihrevbvervdfvdfv Maavshi c@#%#@%$#
We may groan but we will never stop enjoying the idea of a remake. Idea, mind you. When Brothers eventually hit the screen and we sat gaping at the screen trying to figure exactly what Jackie Shroff was trying to say and why Raj Zutshi and whatshisname sitting next to him were trying to outdo each other being silly outside a fighting ring, it was just too late. JUST. TOO. LATE.
Our good friend Kabir Khan will never let us forget how he understands the world’s problems (read terrorism) better than anybody else. We try to tell him otherwise but he doesn’t listen. The man had just delivered a blockbuster with Bajrangi Bhaijaan, which of course wasn’t Citizen Kane but then…BHAI! Phantom soon followed.
We were promised a story we wished was true. Then, maybe more people watched a YouTube video featuring a nobody from Pakistan getting mad at Saif Ali Khan and Phantom than the actual movie. Who knows?!
Any resemblance to a 2005-released Steven Spielberg film is of course, coincidental.
A shaandaar teaser followed by a loud trailer followed director Vikas Bahl‘s last winning effort that was Queen. Shaandaar was “India’s first wedding destination movie” (err what?). Shahid Kapur and Alia Bhatt went to town promoting this one dancing, singing, spreading raita and what not? Come October, come a BIG STRAIGHT FACE!
Vikas Bahl later declared something to the effect of how people couldn’t really figure out the movie and he expects the movie to have a cult following in a few years. Well, at least he got the former right. Blame it all on Sanjay Kapoor!
Not too long ago, we went to Spain on a road trip with three friends in a movie that made as much sense as the three friends. Imtiaz Ali would have nothing of it. He probably enjoyed Asterix and probably thought Asterix in Corsica was more fun than Asterix in Spain. We probably agree. Hence, Tamasha in Corsica. Probably fun? Nope!
It could have brought back together on screen an actor and his ex-girlfriend and even promised the same chemistry. It also brought back Ranbir Kapoor‘s characters’ age-old issue of being clueless in love and life. C’mon! Even Hrithik Roshan learnt after just one Lakshya.
There you have it. Very honorable mentions and salutes to Aishwarya Rai’s comeback in a green movie and Vikram Bhatt’s Institute of Filmmaking; here’s to a happy New Year and more disappointments.