New Year is coming and with every new year comes the time when you leave bad things behind and make resolutions to make your life better and start afresh. Some people decide to start a healthy life, some say they will try their best make more money and some try to make peace with their love life. This is what generally happens all over the world but when it comes to India, resolutions take a whole new avatar.
Here, new year resolutions start from "Is saal to Ambani se raees ho jaana hai", "Is saal IIT crack kar hi dena hai" to "I will brush my teeth every day". Different people make different promises to themselves and they do it in different languages. And everyone does that being fully aware that they will end as soon as the clock strikes 12, with very few exceptions which might last over a week. All is okay til nobody knows you broke it. Well, except your parents, of course. They know everything.
Indian parents are another species altogether. They want their kids to remain their kids forever. They want them to pursue engineering and/or study to become doctors because they know Mishraji's son is doing only MBA. And also because they love their kids. And if they'd know that there's a thing call New Year Resolution, they'd all want you to make all kinds of weird resolutions and make you follow throughout your life:
About phone calls
In India, everything bad happens because of a phone, especially if your mother knows you have one. Failed a test? Because of that phone. Fell off the stairs? Because of that phone. Feeling sick? Because of that phone. Is the neighbor's house on fire? Sab tere us phone ki wajah se hua.
They would want you to resolve that you will not use that phone anymore except when they are calling you, when they message you or when they need to recharge their phone. And yes, also when they want you to talk to your chacha ki saali ki saas ke bhai ki beti ke jije ka bhanja, because he cracked IIT just 10 years back and might be able to guide you.
About life partners
There have been stages of this and our parents have undoubtedly evolved with time. So have the resolutions as listed below:
1990 – Promise that you'll marry the person we choose for you.
2000 – Promise that you'll marry someone within our caste.
2008 – Promise that you'll marry someone within our religion.
2017 – Promise that you'll marry someone of the opposite gender.
About food habits
Indian moms are world famous for their feeding habits. No matter how much you eat and how much you have gained weight, your mom will always find you thin and weak. And don't even get us started on our grandmothers!
For this year, your mom wants you to come home and eat whatever she has made for you and lead a healthy life. If you stay away from her, then you must come home, cook good food and eat. Also, call her after every meal you've had so that she knows you are not losing the weight you gained during your last vacation at home. (FYI: You can use your phone for this as well).
Pooja is an essential part of our parents' life. No, we are not talking about you classmate Pooja. We are talking about praying. This is the only reason your mom may ask you to SKIP A MEAL. Need we explain further how important this is?
They would want you to promise them that in the new year, you'll wake up early every morning, have a bath and light a diya in front of your Gods before you start your day. Everyday. Without fail. Also, bathing includes brushing your teeth as well.
This is the part where your father comes in, mostly. Everyone wants their kids to do well in life and studies are a crucial part of that. Indian parents don't want you to get AIR 1 or 99% in your board exams. They just want you to do better than Sharmaji's son and Kapoor saab's daughter. You get better marks than them and your life is sorted.
We all know how these things get on our nerves but parents are parents. They are happy with the little things we do for ourselves and never ask for anything but our happiness.
If you find these pretty relatable, let us know in the comments below. If not, let us know what your parents would want you to promise them, here in the comments below.
Images and thumbnail created by Utsav Patel.