For the best and the worst of Bollywood in 2013
From a striking declaration of being a vestal virgin to captured candid moments of celebs on camera, the year 2013 has been full of surprises. We have seen the rise of pigs and pagans owing to their phenomenally funny talents. We have seen the celebs who endorsed themselves instead of mannequins to the celebs who couldn’t stop blabbering. From fashion faux pas to controversies and kisses, Bol Bachchan awards shall leave no stones unturned to give you the best and worst from Bollywood that rocked the year 2013. So before the year comes to a close, we shall to do the honors.
Here are our very first Bol Bachchan awards.
Every actor tried the gimmick of a chumma so as to allure the audience into the theaters on the Jumma (Friday) of its release. Jumma Chumma award being the most popular, it was a tad difficult to zero down on the best kisser of the year. But since Emraan Hashmi wasn’t one of the players, the award goes go to the most-deserving player whose dedication drools out of the screen and makes women swoon.
The nominees for the Bol Bachchan Jumma Chumma awards are:
Sushant Singh Rajput for all the coy-yet-I-gotta-steal-a-kiss role in Shuddh Desi Romance, Ranveer Singh for tharki kisses in Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-leela, Imran Khan for a feisty kiss in Matru Ki Bijlee Ka Mandola, Randeep Hooda for a bold gay kiss (Bollywood’s first ever) in Bombay Talkies, John Abraham for a wild kiss in Shootout at Wadala.
Pyaar Ke Rahi
Pyaar Ke Rahi award is for the cute couple of Bollywood still trotting their way to realization of their love. They are yet to come out of their “Just Friends” stage but love is sizzling between them nonetheless. Here’s to the love birds.
Ranbir-Katrina, whose Ibiza holiday created much buzz. Ranveer-Deepika, the chemistry between the two recreated history on screen and there are talks about their offscreen love affair as well (read: SLB says the kisses between the two were organic). Anushka–Virat, their mutual interest to do away with dandruff brought the two together, they also plan to celebrate the New year together.
The winner of the Bol Bachchan award for Pyaar Ke Rahi goes to Anushka-Virat. If dandruff can bring the two together, make them tango, then the couple has a long way to go!
The beats of the tabla, if played well can be music or else noise. Bol Bachchan Nadindhindha award is for the best flop item song of the year. The beats went wrong and the steps went whacky. To the item song that disgusted us and made us believe in the ability of the starlets to dance on rhythm-less music.
Laila from Shootout At Wadala, degenerating gets glorified in this song and how! Babli from Shootout At Wadala, Piggy Chops’ presence did no wonders. Pinky from Zanjeer, lord bless the souls of the viewers who died laughing watching this one. Kaddu from R…Rajkumar, the lyricists leave no ‘veggies’ unturned to give a song which is the epitome of vulgarity.
And the award goes to Kaddu from R…Rajkumar. It requires some talent to come up with such vegetarian vulgarity! Along with the award, we give away a massive Kaddu to the makers of the song.
These are the best amongst the worst Bollywood-bred new babies or newbies of the industry who have tried to prove their prowess but failed miserably at the BO.
Elli Avram for Mickey Virus, all we heard from her throughout the film is “Malviya Nagar ke James Bond… Tum kya Body Language padte ho?” Ram Charan Teja, he mystified us enough to make us believe that Vijay Khanna can be a video-game-playing-squeaky-voiced-police-afsar! Then there was Girish Kumar who did the male Katrina Kaif act with his God-gifted expressionless face.
The most-deserving New Baby of Bollywood to be awarded the Bol Bachchan award is Elli Avram. She was atleast consistent with her dialogue and expressions.
To beat the competition, actors too have shed clothes and have proved their machorisma (macho+charisma). Alongwith exposing ample of male cleavage, they have entertained us with a lot of dishoom-dishoom and have also taken bullets. The macho-men Bollywood listed below are the best to fit this award category. Find out who’ll take away the award:
The award goes to… Commando, Vidyut Jamwal. And he was not even in the nomination list but still takes away Bol Bachchan award for Six Pack Mardangi as his solid built that has been giving nightmare to the fellow actors.
Bematlab Bakwas Baatein
We confer the Bematlab Bakwas Baatein to a non-stop blabber-mouth of Bollywood who is often seen repeating the style and language in every other film. We have had a few Bakwass baatooni folks from tinsel-town and we list the nominees amongst them.
Akshay Kumar for re-re-re-remaking his remake films, Boss, was much like Rowdy Rathore, Khiladi 786, to be specific. Shahid Kapoor for not giving up hope, and for continual disappointment with his back to back over-the-top flop comedies. Sonakshi Sinha for being consistently good ‘ol happy-go-lucky chick in every other film (we count – Rowdy Rathore, Son of Sardaar, Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai Dobara, Bullett Raja, R…Rajkumar – to name a few).
Inspite of the tough competitors, the award belongs to the one and only Khiladi! With this award, we hope to see Akki in a new avatar with some new catchy dialogues and nothing of the “paani nikalne hai” likes!
Bematlab Bakwas Film
The Bematlab Bakwas Film is an award given to the filmmaker for making a film which was not funny, not serious and gave spread a feeling of utter boredom amongst its viewers. We all wasted our time, money and effort to buy the ticket of the film and watch it.
Raj Purohit’s Sixteen, a coming-of-age story lured the lungi-beedi audience with its sleazy promo, however the film has no objectionable stuff in it but was rather very educational, infact, over-the-top educational. Vishwas Patil’s Rajjo for a downright comical take on the life of a nautch girl (it was so funny, wasn’t it?), Shashikant Shah’s Bajatey Raho, it was good to see audience bajaoing the film with their reviews.
The one who wears the Bol Bachchan for Bematlab Bakwas Film is… Vishwas Patil. Sir, maybe you can do much better by making a comedy film, also, the next time around please do not attempt another cameo!