Spring – The glorious season where we bid adieu to winter and get ready for the breezy and warm arms of summer. The flowers bloom again, the birds start chirping again, and all is fine with the world. Unless, of course, you are in India. In that case, spring is just an instrument that moans every time you turn uncomfortably in your bed. All thanks to the excruciating summer heat.
Summer – An unnecessary weather anomaly that results in you spending more money on your electricity bills than food and shelter. How does one deal with his season of heat-boils and fiery loins? Once again, we turn to Bollywood. Because desi summer, desi ilaaj!
1. Wear clothes you are most comfortable in.
You are what you wear. So during the summers, it is safe to say you are a giant smelly pit stain. If you are extremely conscious about what you wear, then we pity you. The trick is to wear clothes that offer optimum ventilation. Especially in the nether regions. Something like a Lungi.
2. Go on a yacht and chill with your homies!
Hit the open seas and chill like a badass. Dancing on the unsteady yacht deck is optional.
3. Honey-sweet tunes
Your summertime madness is incomplete without some Yo Yo Honey Singh tunes. “Aaj Blue Hai Paani Paani Paani Paani Paani” bro.
4. Don’t you forget those goggles, rascalas!
Don’t be one of those fools who walks out into the sun like a daredevil and faints almost after leaving the colony. Wear proper eye gear, for the love of Rajinikanth!
5. Emerge from the pool/ocean like a boss.
There are a few things you can nail in the first try. Doing a stylish exit from the pool is one of those things. Beware of lechers who look like Uday Chopra.
6. Sing weird songs with the word “ice” in them
Eat ice cream, go to Kashmir – so much win!
7. Shower? Please. Bucket lover till I die.
Seriously, emptying an entire bucket of water on your head is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. Plus, carrying a heavy bucket is all the workout you are going to get during the summers.
So there you go, Bollywood has solved yet another problem for us. What are you going to do this summer? Streak on the streets? Live next to a perennial waterfall? Whatever you do, share your ideas with the rest of the world as well.