Bloody Hell!

[Rating: 1.5]

Director:  Marcus Nispel

Cast & Crew:  Jason Momoa , Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan , Bob Sapp, Leo Howard, Steven O Donnell , Nonso Anozie, Raad Rawi , Laila Rouass, Saïd Taghmaoui.

Plot Summary: The movie tells the tale of Conan (The Barbarian) and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria, as he embarks on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

Review: Slash, Claw, Cut, Burn, Trash, Mutilate, Violate, Kill, Kill, Kill….. That’s the unsaid anthem of this 2 hour long blood and gore fest. The first half especially, feels like the cinematic equivalent of visiting a slaughter house. Reboot of the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger starrer, this one has TV star Jason Momoa (Baywatch Hawai) step in as the barbarian. With a skeleton of a story and close to zero character development, it simply emphasis on the cut-throat barbarianism (Pun intended).  

Some of the action pieces are not bad at all, specially the one where the female lead is suspended from a rudder like contraption. But overall, the entire charade is pure “sound and fury”. There were instances where audiences (including me) looked like the famous Gandhi’s 3 bandars with ears and eyes shut or hands covering the mouth in shock. So, I wish there was a point to all this violence, I wish there was some semblance of a story, performances or even dialogues. Something, anything….but alas! I was too busy gritting my teeth to be disappointed. 

Verdict: Blood and gore, but nothing more.

Malvika Rao

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