Why you should date a super villain

Life has been fair to me, more or less. I wake up every morning, put my villain suit on, hatch a devious plan with my henchmen, challenge a superhero in broad daylight, fight with him/her and get home tired. All I want to do at the end of my day is rest in the arms of my beloved. But no one will date me! It’s probably the shame that comes with being a super villain. People immediately assume that I am a “bad” person. Why? Just because I held a few people hostage, killing a few of them maybe? Just because I challenged that idiotic superhero’s goody-two-shoes nature? Don’t I deserve love? Why won’t anybody swipe right for me on Tinder? Alas, my questions remain unanswered and I’ll probably have to loot a bank or two just to feel good about myself.

But let me tell you that we super villains are not so bad after all. We have some great attributes that make us date-worthy. Here’s why you should date one:

1. They’ll wear make-up for you

2. They’ll play crazy games with you

3. They always know the train schedule

4. They come loaded with the best fireworks

5. They have good fashion choices

6. They have a great sense of humor

7. They know their botany well

8. They’ll take up new hobbies for you, like surfing for example

9. They’ll find unique ways to meet you, even if you stay on Alcatraz

10. And let’s not forget, they would gladly conquer the world for you.

So go on, take a chance on a super villain. Who knows, you might just get to rule the universe alongside them. Bwahahahaha!

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