Each and every guy knows that one of most truly scariest ‘day’ is coming up. For the single guys, it is the loneliness that kills them. For the guys in relationships, it’s the planning for the dreaded Valentine’s Day.
Yes folks, I said it. No man has looked at the 14th of February and not wished that it too, should go the way of the leap year day. You know, show up once in 4 years and confuse everyone. As this celebration of love looms over the heads of the hapless victims (oops, I mean celebrants), each and everyone is going through their plans for the day. Now, I know that this isn’t fair but girls, you don’t have to do much on this day. Valentine’s Day is one of the few days of the year, that ensures ultimate pampering and service. And Women, you deserve it. No doubts about that. Hollywood sat up and took notice. Movies have been made on this lovely day and on the notion of romance. In the end, as lambs to the slaughter, we boys have been lead. Over reaction you say? Fine… ask any guy if he would like to watch a romantic- comedy or a love story with his mates. Don’t be surprised by his answer, girls. It’s who we are!
Nevertheless, each year gives us many romantic movies which are released around this special time. Now, all you people out there, don’t fret. Go for these movies with your significant other (be it a guy or a girl, no worries). You might enjoy them. And if you don’t, then all you have to do is imagine what would happen if suddenly in the middle of the movie or the end, John McClane turns up. The a**-kicking, name-taking NYPD detective who blows $%!t up. That would make any sappy romantic film instantly watchable.
Let’s do a few test runs shall we?
The biggest pain-in-the-unmentionables romantic movie out there. A lot of tears have been shed due to this film, most of them have been due to guys who have stabbed themselves with anything sharp in order to get out of watching a giant cube play tag with a boat. Now think about it, what if John McClane had showed up at the moment they discovered the iceberg? Yippe-ka-yay… Mother-Ice… and boom, the iceberg is no more. Blown up by the c4 that John carries with him, the iceberg then becomes a supporting character in the film. As the ice for the victory margaritas. Problem solved.
2) You’ve Got Mail:
Easy, easy, calm down. This is just a thought exercise, no one is actually badmouthing this movie. So Ladies, simmer down. In this film, we have the big bad business venture pushing the small-time business owner out. If John McClane showed up, he would bring the big bad business building down with a couple of charges and lo, the "Little Shop around the corner" doesn’t get shut and remains open for business. Once Tom Hanks sees this, he comes to his senses and ditches the computer with it’s email and finally goes on a date with Meg Ryan. Problem solved. No more geeky behaviour.
3) He Is Just Not That Into You:
I know that this one of those holy grail movies, and I can’t touch this film with a 20-foot barge pole. But ladies, I am saying this for your men. While watching this film with your boy, haven’t you seen his eyes glaze over so much that you thought you were looking at a sugar coated face? So think about it a little. This movie would hold your boy’s attention span a lot longer, if there were some explosions, some bad puns, some riddles, and maybe a black guy whose name is Zeus (Not Hey-zus). In the end, he ain’t going anywhere. With John McClane, atleast there would be some sparks flying, not just on the screen if you know what I mean.
4) Romeo + Juliet:
I get it, trust me. I can hear the creaking of thin ice, (editor: I know, I digress, just trying to make sure I am not hunted). You have all heard the tragic story of these star-crossed lovers. In fact, to read about it and study it and then recite it, made watching this movie a bit of a bore. Let’s face it, at the end of the day, it is a movie based on a play. The play is rather sublime to watch. The movie, eh.. not so much.
But what if we got John to drop in. Instead of Mercutio, John would say "A plague o’both your houses", miraculously recover from the wound and then proceed to gun down anyone who would come in the way of Romeo and Juliet. A few grenades and done, both the houses would be leveled, and the lovers would have lived happily ever after.
Before you seethe, understand this, this isn’t about what can make a romantic movie bearable. If the person you are watching this movie adores you, he/she will not care about the length of the film or the plot. The fact that the two of you would be watching a movie together makes the worst movie bearable.
This was just a flight of fancy. Just to see what would happen. Never ever think that the way of romance in the real world has to be exactly the same as the one on the silver screen. Use your imagination and tell us what movies would be awesome with cameos from your favorite action stars.
The comment box awaits.