EURO 2016: England’s Second BREXIT in a Week

This is a year in which the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA title – believe it. A year in which Leicester City won the English Premier League – believe it. A year in which Serena Williams hasn’t won a Grand Slam yet – believe it. A year in which Ben Stokes conceded 24 runs off the four balls of his final over in the World T20 final to hand over the title to West Indies. A year in which Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar for a lead acting role – oh, believe it. A year in which Lionel Messi has retired from international football – I can’t believe it. 

And this is also a year in which, yet again, the English football team has become the butt of all jokes – we all believe it. In an unprecedented seven days that has seen England exit Europe twice, the second departure wasn’t considered to be as shocking as the first. Yet, while the first was a “mistake”, the second is anything but.

For a nation that considers itself to be “football royalty”, Roy Hodgson’s England – who won all of its 10 qualifying matches prior to this tournament – played a woefully pathetic last-16 game against ‘minnows’ Iceland – incidentally in their first ever major tournament – to make even Brazil’s 7-1 drubbing at the hands of Germany in the 2014 World Cup seem like a respectful result. After Wayne Rooney’s early penalty that put them ahead, they conceded two goals by the 18th minute, and seemingly refused to fight back, thereby letting every other ‘British’ nation including Wales celebrate with glee in their own dressing rooms at the final whistle. 

Of course, manager Hodgson promptly resigned with a pre-written statement, leading people to wonder if he had actually expected this day, and such a hopelessly embarrassing result in the near future. 

England only lost 2-1, their first of the tournament, but they lost to a country with a population less than a London suburb. They lost to a country whose coach, a Swede named Heimir Hallgrimsson, is a part-time dentist. While a petition is being floated to re-vote for the referendum, a ‘joke’ bigger than the one Donald Trump is currently headlining, another petition is soon expected to float around for a rematch with Iceland – because, in Twitter’s hilarious words, “England didn’t actually expect to go out after losing the match 2-1.
Twitter, of course, had a field day – or night – after witnessing yet another historically tragic chapter in English football. If Argentina and Lionel Messi were feeling terrible, all they had to do is train their sights on what was happening across the Atlantic – a move that could actually inspire Messi to return because “England must be feeling far more pain than me.

Here are some hilarious tweets by celebrities and some genuinely funny folks:

  • Gary Lineker: England beaten by a country with more volcanoes than professional footballers. Well played Iceland.
  • BeksStark: England, about this past week, can we just forget about it?
  • “England manager makes $4.6 million a year. Iceland’s is a part-time dentist.”
  • “Roy Hodgson, the only man with a coherent plan to leave Europe.”
  • “England squad costs 175 million. If we exit, let’s spend it on the NHS.”
  • “Now that we’ve got control of the border, we won’t let that English team back into the country.”
  • “Can someone ask Ronaldo is it’s okay for ‘small-minded’ Iceland to celebrate now?”
  • “Guess the Three Lions emblem should be changed to Three Lambs. Hodg-son the only other ‘son’ in addition to the 11 Iceland players on the pitch.”
  • “Development: England frantically googling Iceland after losing to Iceland.”
  • “Worst week for England since they made that Beatles movie with Frampton and the Bee Gees.”
  • “Stats: 1 in every 1,50,000 Icelandic people have scored against England.”


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