If you enjoy watching a woman (verbally) castrate her ex-husband over and over again in different scenarios for almost two hours, Anything But, Love was written especially for you.

Anish (Samir Soni) and Seema (Mandira Bedi) are quintessential ex-spouses who clearly can’t live with each other, judging from their continual war of words. It also doesn’t help that Anish sees a dog as Seema sees a baby, something that led to them parting ways.  But then again, they clearly can’t live without each other, as a chance meeting a few years after their divorce spirals into a drink and sex even though it’s been four weeks into Seema’s second marriage.

Anish’s cracks at Seema’s age and “lopsided breasts” and her retorts about the only consistent thing about him being that his “fly is always open” makes you wonder why these two even try to stand around each other for more than a single pleasantry. But by the end of it, you just reach a point where you aren’t rooting for them to stay or split. You’re just keen to see how things pan out when something as complicated as love has nowhere to go but around and around.

Anything But, Love is one of ACE Productions’ consistent comedies, which has been performed for almost a decade now – something that shows in the publicity stills, which have Bedi sporting the long locks of hair that she so stylishly sheared off recently. You also realize how much you miss Soni, a fine actor, who has been out of the commercial limelight for a while now.

Indeed, the play boasts of great performances and dialogues that will have you at the edge of your seat, holding on to your ribs as they threaten to crack from laughter. The characters are quite believable, though I doubt any man would continue to visit a shrink whom he gave “the five best of my six bisexual months”.

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