Been on a road trip? If you haven’t, I’d suggest you do. Not this very minute though, keep reading this. A road trip requires special gear. Before you roll your eyes and grunt ‘Duh!’, let’s take a look at the essentials that you need if you ever go ‘Road-trippin’ (guess that band for 7 points).
1. Before you head out, you need a vehicle. Something with four wheels, enough space for 4 people plus the 7 other friends who suddenly decide that their weekend is free. By the way, ever notice, those 7 friends are also the ones who just seem to keep rocks in their backsides. If you are good at Tetris, then fitting them in is easy. Otherwise, it’s the “inhale, exhale and squeeze” into the backseat (when fitting them in, not the other thing, you pervert.)
2. You need towels. Not for drying off, of course not. You need them when you have to make a temporary bath/shower curtain. Or when you need to hitchhike the galaxy. It’s always good to know where your towel is, you Zarkan Frood!
3. A killer playlist. By that we mean, the playlist has all the songs that people can sing. Know your audience when you set this up. No one wants to listen to Saturday Saturday on loop. We suggest rock to blues to pop to ’80s and more. Always a safe bet: RHCP, Pink Floyd, Led Zep, Guns N’ Roses, Metallica, AIR, Florence and the Machine and The Beatles.
4. Snackage: Oh yeah, all you foodies out there. The snackage duties fall to you! You need to keep the chips coming, the rolls rolling, the sandwiches moist, the drinks cold and the munchies going. Otherwise you’d have to stop every 20 kms because someone doesn’t like the misal pav from the roadside. Before setting off on a road trip, please find those who are on a diet and kindly inform them that they have been offloaded. We only roll with Maximum Take Off Weight (MTOW for the win!)
5. The driving duties have to be spread around, otherwise you’d have very pissed off, very sober and cranky buddy who’d curse the whole lot of you when you reach your destination! Keep the driver happy and happy journey (do not resort to special favors, please).
6. In case of a flat tire, you have to at least have some knowledge of how to change the tire. Or at least be capable to stop a passing vehicle. Best way is to show some leg. Boys, this is why you wear shorts. Nothing stops a car faster, than the sight of a hairy knee.
7. Have a forfeit system set up. For every bad pun or bad joke, the guilty party has to wave at passing cars with a sign held up which says “Mujhe Ghar Jaana Hai!” while wearing lipstick.
8. On a road trip, you need to keep the motion-sickness people by the windows or at least by a bucket. Just a suggestion. Or knock them out at the start, we suggest a hammer to the head (just kidding, use a brick).
9. Keep a map. That way, when you are lost, you have something to argue over. Do not use it for directions by the way.
10. Lastly, have a great time with the people you are with. For a road trip is all about the journey, the destination is just an excuse. See you on the highway!