T20 cricket league: Analysis and observations

While it feels like this T20 cricket league tournament has been going on for the last three decades, it hasn’t been difficult to single out a few trends and observations. With the colorblind ghosts of the terribly mediocre Pune Warriors outfit finally banished, each team has around two games left to play in this 8-team Group Stage phase. What’s more, the rejects from the Sahara-run ex-team are having a field day in their respective 2014 teams. Uthappa, Pandey, Yuvraj (to an extent), Bhuvi, Steve Smith and Finch – they’re all feeling good to be away from students and incessant power-cuts, and it shows.
Let us take a look, with a pinch of salt and no sugar at all, at what The T20 cricket league has offered to us so far:
  • At any point of time in the Mumbai Indians’ dugout, there are more mentors, idols, philosophical masters, self-appointed agony aunts, conditioning coaches, speeches and brave plans around than on a table at Gokuls’ bar in Colaba on a weeknight. 
  • The only reason Chris Gayle is still playing this year’s T20 cricket league is SWAG, YOLO and free Cuban cigars.
  • If Virat Kohli swapped his RCB outfit for the national uniform, he’d have been scoring runs in a losing cause instead of not scoring runs at all. 
  • If Corey Anderson magically morphed into Richard Levi in the next MI game, nobody would notice. 
  • The Australians suffer from the Anti-Kohli syndrome, where they’re the stars of a domestic sub-continental T20 tournament, but fail to show up in slightly more important international events…like World Cups.
  • Delhi Daredevils are the Rahul Gandhis of T20 cricket league cricket. 
  • Kevin Pieterson is still trying to figure out what he is doing wrong by playing Vijay and Karthik in the same team. 
  • Duminy figured it out long ago—because they are rubbish batsmen. 
  • In the afterlife, VVS Laxman and Rahul Dravid are finally pulling one over Sachin Tendulkar… as ‘mentors’.
  • Gambhir must be ruing the day he decided to promote Uthappa to the opening slot with him for KKR. Uthappa is now the no. 1 contender for India if Dhawan or Rohit decide to plunge to further depths.
  • NASA, ISI, SY and ISRO have all been commissioned to decipher the mechanism behind the mysterious workings of the FAIRPLAY STANDINGS point-allocation. So far, only Harbhajan Singh has been able to come up with a substantial explanation: “When it rains, it pours”, with a bit of expletive thrown in.
  • Uthappa’s 7 consecutive 40+ scores , resulting in 5 consecutive KKR wins, is only second to Gambhir’s 3 consecutive ducks in the first 3 games as a streak this year. KKR are born to entertain, much like their owner.
  • By the end of T20 cricket league, RCB and DD could be the only teams left without a tournament win to their names.
  • Shastri’s ability to clearly say the word ‘Kanna Keep Calm’ without stuttering is only matched by Siva’s ability to go through a 6-minute commentating stint without alcohol withdrawals. 
  • Rameez Raja seems to be channeling his inner Asad Rauf. They even look alike now.
  • It is only a matter of time before Danny Morrison stars in the next Hobbit movie.
  • Shibani Dandekar is to IPL what Preity Zinta is to Bollywood.
  • Sehwag’s evening strolls in the field are getting more hectic when grandchildren like Vohra accompany him with such eagerness.
  • Ashwin is to fielding what AB is to dropped catches.
  • It is only a matter of time before Munaf Patel joins Sanjay Bangar’s support staff, as one of the mental conditioning coaches.

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