Look London, Talk Tokyo @ the Traffic Signal

Picture this, it’s Friday, you’re dressed in your casual best and are heading to work. It’s a happy day, the weekend is here and you’re looking forward to that party in the evening. You don’t even mind the terrible music playing the rickshaw that’s taking you to the railway station.
 
The red light on the traffic signal glows and your rickshaw halts. And then something that you dreaded the most happens. Amidst the cacophony at the signal, the sounds of a distinct clap echoes in your ear. As you hear this your heart beats a skip and you know they’re coming at you. As you sit trapped and scared in your ride, a wild hand appears before your eyes and voice resounds in your ears, "Aye shona, de na."
 
 
Since I’m constantly running low on funds, I can’t afford to offer money to Hijras (eunuchs).
 
In case you run low on funds, you can use a couple of excuses listed below.
 
Note: All the below excuses haven’t been tried by me. So try them at your own risk.  I have nothing against Hijras in fact I think they’re quite cool.
 
Excuse No.1
 
 
When you know they’re coming at you, display an intensely tensed face, the kind you make in front of your parents when you’re in deep shit. They’ll look at you, feel sad and then leave.
 
Excuse No.2
 
 
Make a sad face, look at them and tell them "Mujhe paison ki zaroorat hai, kya aap mujhe aapke yahaan kaam de sakte ho?" You might either freak them out or invite trouble upon yourself. However, I think it’s worth a shot. YOLO!
 
Excuse No.3
 
 
Act dumb and deaf or blind. They’ll leave you out of pity.
 
Excuse No.4
 
 
With the most straight face tell them, "Aap mujhe dekh sakte ho kya?" This will surely scare the shit out of them.
 
Excuse No.5: The Last Resort
Use this one only in extreme cases.
 
 
Remember that hilarious scene from Tum Milo Toh Sahi, where a Hijra dances in front of Nana Patekar and says, "Aye de na, main tere vaaste nachi re."(hey, give me money, I danced for you). To which Nana Patekar dances back at the eunuch and says, "Main bhi naacha merko do."(even I danced, why don’t you give me money)
 
 
This is going to annoy the crap out of them, but you can always run. Why use this life threatening excuse you ask…because YOLO!
 
The Hijra’s community that I’ve encountered near the traffic signal near my house dislike me so much that the moment they spot me, they turn their faces away with disgust. Success!
 

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