Kangana Ranaut, her mangled accent aside, is the only bright spot in Miley Naa Miley Hum, a film so dreadfully dull, you’ll have to check your pulse when the lights come back on to find out if you’re still breathing. She stars as a scatterbrained struggling model (never mind that swanky home!) who accepts a rich scion’s offer to spend 20 days pretending to be his girlfriend in exchange for big money. The gentleman in question, played by newcomer Chirag Paswan, must hire a fake lover so his divorced parents won’t bully him into marrying girls of their choice.

The film, unfortunately, doesn’t give Kangana much to do. She’s a real hoot in a handful of comic sequences – like one in which she argues with a cab-driver over the fare she owes him – but her romantic track with Chirag is predictable, yet unconvincing. The chunk of this film’s drama involves the clash between Chirag’s selfish parents to stake claim on their son. So Chirag’s father wants him to play tennis, but his mum is dead against it. She wants him to marry a friend’s daughter from London, but dad has lined up the daughter of his buddy from Bhatinda. This guy has serious problems!  

It’s a familiar plot, and director Tanveer Khan treats it without a hint of inventiveness or originality. It’s hard to muster up any sympathy for the protagonist either, because – how do you put this politely? – newcomer Chirag Paswan is as expressive as a blank slate.

The film is a waste of time and money on the part of those who made it and those who’re brave enough to watch it. I’m going with one-and-a-half out of five for Miley Naa Miley Hum. It’s the kind of film that critics must suffer so you don’t have to!

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