"Like your mother, it’s been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys."
At work, you might want others to believe that you’re above "Yo Mama" jokes. If you still find that you can’t help yourself, just use Veep’s fancier but equally scathing version!
“Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street.”
"Are we seriously going to let the guy with the police sketch face of a rapist tell us what to do?"
"What’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck? Ah, never mind. It’s just your head."
If you think dialogues from Veep might be just a little too harsh, you can just take a cue from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. This insult does cut, but not so much that you can’t pass it off as a joke. Win-win!
"Horoscope, what’s that Kimmy? A telescope that can only see your face?"
Though family shows may not always be wholesome or informative, they’re gold mines for not-so-thinly-veiled criticism. Just look at Full House!
"Present, but not all here!"
"I don’t criticize you. And if you’re that worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defence."
"You know how they say ‘it’s been a pleasure’? Well… It hasn’t."
Have you had to spend a day with someone you don’t like? This is the best way to sign off. Note: It works best if you can master Mike Ehrmantraut’s signature glare.