Everyone has that special someone, though they might vary in shape, size, or even species (talking about pets here, dirty mind). Have you ever thought about how life would be different if the girl of your dreams turned out to be a vampire? Or a witch (the broomstick variety, not the evil crazy girl)? Ladies of the audience, what would you like – A vampire boyfriend or a warlock type conjurer?

Look no further. We will now attempt to fathom this unfathomable riddle (see what we did there?):

Getting ready for a party:

It’s late in the evening, she’s wondering what to wear… As the song goes. How often have you sat there while the girl of your dreams turned a closet into a war zone? Now if your girl was a vampire, she wouldn’t have to worry. Firstly, no reflection in the mirror, so what could cause worry? Then, all she has to do is put on the goth gown of her choice and bam, the lady is ready to shake a leg. If witchcraft is her forte, then black all the way. The pointy hat can be worked on. In terms of variety, the vampiress wins out here.

Life behind four walls:

A vampire would be wonderful company for an insomniac. She’d be up at all the wee hours of the night. But you gotta make sure that the blood is warmed nice and human-like. It’s 37 C for all you connoisseurs out there. Now if the girl is up to the dark arts, she won’t stay awake all night, but you might just be woken up in the middle of the night and asked to perform a ritual. Or she might just use an imperius curse on you and make you dance to her tune.


Okay, here the winner is obviously the witch. She can conjure up anything you desire. On the other hand, the vampire school of cooking is a glass of blood served at body temperature. The choice is yours.


Here, the winner is the vampire. She would be amazing as a Death Dealer aka Kate Beckinsale. Mainly hot due to the fact that she can dual wield pistols while taking out werewolves. There aren’t that many jobs for a witch, other than attempting to eat Hansel and Gretel or Bugs Bunny.

So there you have it, the winner in the end is the vampire. So the next the time you say that she is a blood sucker, she really is one.

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