The seventh installment of the Fast and Furious franchise is all set to release this Friday!

*Discussion about rights for Fast and Furious remake in Bollywood*

Hollywood : We have cars parachuting off a plane.

Bollywood : We have Rohit Shetty. He makes cars fly.

Hollywood: We have Vin Diesel.

Bollywood: We have Sunny Leone.

Hollywood: Okay, you win.

If there is one thing we have learned from Bollywood movies, it’s that action and Sunny Leone never seem to fail. What if Bollywood combined both and made the movie that we all dream of? This is what we came up with:

Akshay Kumar as Brian O’Connor

Akshay Kumar, a fitness freak would effortlessly slide into O’Conner’s now famous Vans shoes. The Khiladi, who stands out for his death-defying stunts is probably an ideal choice for portraying late Paul Walker’s iconic role.

Salman Khan as Dom Toretto

When your shirt tears off due to the wind, you know you’re sitting in a Salman Khan film. He matches Vin Diesel’s character in every department brilliantly! Don’t you think?

Danny Dengzongpa as Han

Who could play the character of the smart and suave Han better than Danny Denzongpa? A veteran in the industry, he would perfectly carry out the role of the chameleon.

Honey Singh as Tej

Played by Ludacris, Tej is responsible for the technology and planning for the team. Singh would probably rap his way through the plan.

Lara Dutta as Letty Ortiz

Running on truck roofs and beating up villains is a day’s work for Letty Ortiz. And not to shy away from such high-octane action sequences in Bollywood is Lara Dutta. Since the actress had previously done her share of stunts in Blue (2009), she perfectly suits the role.

Rana Dagubatti as Luke Hobbs

Impersonating Dwayne Johnson on screen will be tough, but Rana Dagubatti comes closest to the WWE Star. Daggubatti, with his rough looks and tough body will get to share screen time with Salman Khan! Imagine the cost of the fashion designing team.

Raghu Ram as Ian Shaw

The Roadies host, who is known for his unruly attitude, can effortlessly carry off the role of Ian Shaw (Jason Statham). Who cares about the acting, when you can break bones and defame people at the same time!

Chitrangada Singh as Mia Toretto

Chitrangada Singh will play Mia Toretto. Your arguments are invalid.

Arshad Warsi as Roman Pearce

Pearce, who is constantly making a fool out of himself in the film can be played by none other than Arshad Warsi. Since we are all aware about his hilarious shenanigans, there’s no doubt he would seamlessly fit into the role. Bole Toh, Kya Bola Apun Ne?

And And And…

Sunny Leone

A Bollywood movie would not be complete without an item number from Sunny Leone. Think about the possibilities, a car washing scene perhaps?

So, there you have it, our ideal Bollywood remake of Fast and the Furious! Get ready to watch out for some crass jokes, flying cars and FLYING CARS! Yes, that’s how we feel you make it to the 1000 Crore Club! 

by Shlomoh Divekar

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