India is a land of diversity and culture, but one thing that unifies it is stereotypes. Stereotypes in India are a dime a dozen and if you’re a South Indian, you tend to face most of the heat. Literally and figuratively. Right from what you wear to the colour of your skin is judged under a microscope. There’s this large number of ignorant people, who give you such infuriating responses when you tell them you’re a South Indian. The kind of responses that make you wonder if you’re the only sensible person alive on this planet right now. Here’s a list of 10 such responses which can also be used as a self help guide on what not to say to a South Indian. Ever.
1) Oh you’re a Madrasi!
Clearly geography isn’t your strong suite. It doesn’t matter which state we belong to, you don’t need to acknowledge it- it’s all basically the bottom half of India.
2) Why don’t you have an accent?
Please don’t feel offended if we ever decide not to exaggerate our e’s and i’s. It’s just that, once in a while we do tend to speak fluent english and prefer not to refer to our cuppa java as kaafi.
3) Why don’t you eat idli sambar and chutney more often?
If I could hit someone with a KFC bucket everytime I hear this!
4) How are you so fair?
This one probably is the most blatant disregard of common courtesy. And downright racist.
5) Can you teach me how to lungi dance?
How many ways can you kill someone with a ballpoint pen?
6) You must be watching all the Rajinikanth movies first day first show
No. Occasionally I do like to watch normal boring movies too. Please don’t mind.
7) How do you write in madrasi? It all looks like galebi.
Please teach me how to write ‘You’re offensive’ in a script that you can understand.
8) You must be super good at Bharatnatyam no?
Sigh. How we wish. Some of us unfortunate South Indian’s are born with two left feet.
9) You must be super smart and super arrogant
Ummm more like super smart and super nice.
10) Why does everything you say in Madrasi sound so angry?
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IDIOTS LIKE YOU ASKING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS.
By Ekta Shetty