It is dark and gloomy. There are gray clouds stretching as far as the eye can see. It feels like you are stuck in the middle of a Swedish art film about depression. But wait… There is hope. It’s times like these when the Looney Tunes comes to the rescue. In our world of running around and screaming, we need to take time out and watch some cartoons do what they do best, make us laugh. With that, we come to the next step.
Everyday, we wake up and crawl out of our warm beds. Whether we like it or not, we have to face the day. On dark and gloomy days, that struggle just seems to be insurmountable. But hey, did Daffy ever give up during hunting season? Did Elmer stop sneaking around? Did Bugs Bunny stop and say, “No more carrots for me, I am on a kale diet”? No, they did not. The world needs that and a lot more. Here is your guide to life, as taught by the evergreen and ever-loved Looney Tunes.
Now if you are lost:
The world is a much smaller place these days. However, that just means it is easier to get lost. You might argue that you are never going to be, since you have a map app and a GPS system in the palm of your hand. But ask yourself this, do you want to be shouted at by a recording telling you when you have to turn. Imagine : “Take the next left turn in 500 meters.”, “Turn left in 100 meters.”, “Turn left now!”, “Why didn’t you turn left? You never listen to me!” (Okay, the last one was mine.), “Turn this car around.”. Did you just say that out loud and realise how ridiculous it sounds? Now imagine it in a German accent or a Russian one. Forget it. Looney Tunes has given us the best approach to being lost. That is, accept it. In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, “I knew I should have taken the left at Albuquerque.”
If you are romancing your amour:
There is much to be learnt about the way you can approach a girl. Or even a guy. Sometimes we strike out, sometimes we get stumped, sometimes we are hit in the groin-al regions with the season ball of rejection and we realise that we should have worn a cup. But no matter, you should take a leaf out of the book of love, written by that esteemed amorist, that masterful casanova, the scent-astic Pepe le Pew. A skunk of wondrous charm and malodorous scent, Pepe gives us hope. The idea is simple, my friends; be charming, be smooth, be suave and in the end, use a ridiculous accent. Practice these lines: “Mi amour, mi little baguette, me little pate". And you might just get that special someone. At the very least, they will crack a smile. And that’s your chance. Go forth and do the calculus.
What about those days when you are just in one of those moods?
You know, the one where nothing ever seems to go right. The forecast says clear skies and the heavens open up. So there you are, standing in a puddle that is fast becoming a pool and you don’t have your water wings. You don’t have an umbrella, your clothes are soaked to the bone and a bus drives by, splashing you fully. So you head to office, wet as an otter, the A/C is on full blast and the remote has been stolen. Yup, a number of you might have had those days. Okay, you might not have faced the same problem if you live in a desert, but hey, work with me here. So, coming back to the mood. You are just a few moments away from having a mental breakdown. And you get the news, there is no milk for your coffee. What do you do? What do you do, hotshot? ( 5 points for the person who guessed that movie). How do you go on? Easy! Follow the footsteps of Wile E. Coyote. (Certified genius, he has it printed on a card.) Here is a perennially hungry carnivore who fails to capture his prey. Does he give up? Does he say “I have had it”? Nope. That’s because he can’t talk. He holds up signs. But hey, he gets up after the rock smashes flat, after the rocket has exploded and even after he runs right off the cliff. So remember, don’t give up. You might just get your road runner someday. Till then, keep at it. And remember “Acme. Explosions Guaranteed.”
What about arguments? Or debates?
Our days are filled with needless arguments. How do these amazing cartoons help us? Easy peasy, lemon-squeezy. It is the old “Duck Season”, “Rabbit Season” argument. As the story goes, Bugs and Daffy are trying to save their own skins, while Elmer Fudd points his shotgun at the two of them. Bugs gets around the endless loop of “Duck Season!” and “Rabbit Season!” by simply repeating “Rabbit Season.” Daffy doesn’t pick up on that and yells “Duck Season, Fire!”, to which Elmer obliges with a blast to his beak. Daffy retorts to Bugs, “You’re Despicable.” Now all you need to do is repeat the same process during your own argument.
Get your point across and then repeat their own point right back them. Hopefully, they will be thrown off kilter and bam, hit them with your rebuttal (that is a debate term, stop snickering in the back).
Let’s see, ah, yes. What if you see someone sneaking around?
The tunes have a helpful approach for that too. Tweety Bird‘s “I thought I taw a puddy tat. I did. I did see a puddy tat.” And bam! A baseball bat to the head of Sylvester the cat. Now, I don’t mean you should find a cat and wallop it on the head. I mean to say, find the sneak and lie in wait. When they arrive to do their evil deeds, get them with a sneak move of your own. Much like Tweety and the hammer of pain.
And what if you have to break the ice when you meet new people, you ask? (Actually, you aren’t asking. I’m just trying to break the fourth wall, no one is letting me. It is sad that I can talk on and on… and no response, like complaining about Air India and their flight schedule.)
Coming back to the ice-breaking. Easy, take a carrot out of your pocket (note: you will need a carrot for this) and start gnawing at it. In the Immortal words of Bugs Bunny, “Eh, What’s up, Doc?”
This works every time. And if it doesn’t, then offer them the carrot. I would suggest practicing this a few times in order to the intonation just right. But hey, once you do, the world is your oyster ( a slimy thing in the middle of two shells, which a lot of people eat raw, yuck!).
Anyway, that concludes a few of the ways that Looney Tunes can improve your lives. But incase you are still wondering, I would suggest that you take some time out and watch some of the old classics. You might just remember the old days of monsoon, of friends, lazy Sunday afternoons and peace.
Till then, as Porky the Pig said, “Peca Peca Peca… That’s all folks!”