When used imaginatively, 3D can transport you to a whole new world like it did with Avatar. It can make flying feel like a beautifully choreographed dance, like it did in How To Train Your Dragon. Even a bike ride through a digital grid in Tron: Legacy felt like the most exhilarating journey you’ve taken. Expect no such pleasures from Priest, which as it turns out is not only a dreadful waste of time, but a sinful waste of 3D too.

Set in the aftermath of an epic war between humans and vampires, this mostly dimly-lit film stars Paul Bettany as a renegade warrior priest who, defying the orders of the Church, heads off into the vampire heartland to hunt down the fanged troublemakers who’ve kidnapped his niece. He’s assisted on this crusade by the girl’s sheriff boyfriend (played by Cam Gigandet) and a warrior priestess (played by Maggie Q) 

So heavily reliant on CG elements that it forgets to pack in a coherent story, Priest takes itself way too seriously for an action fantasy film. There isn’t even a hint of humor or the slightest wit that might serve as relief from the relentless action scenes; and aside from a thrilling climatic set-piece on a speeding train there’s nothing original about the crash-bang-boom sequences in this film.

I’m going with one out of five for Priest. I can’t think of any reason why you’d want to put yourself through this punishment.

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