Sometimes, filmmakers try too hard to ensure that their films imitate reality. And we can’t totally blame them for doing so. The titular hero has to hold down a boring desk job, and also battle villains and dance in the fields. That totally happens in reality, right?
However, the effects of the dwindling economy haven’t escaped the movies either. Jobs are hard to come by, both in real life and in movies.
As such, there are some job profiles in films that are used way too many times and have a textbook classification every time:

1. Engineer:

The hero’s sister has to be married off. Because she is after all, paraya dhan (strangers’ money?). So after a lot of scouting, the parents find the perfect match. And lo, the boy happens to be an engineer. Which means he wears spectacles, is shy (because engineers rarely interact with girls in real life), and has a lot of money. The girl’s family then proceeds to ask the boy if he likes the girl. What no one bothers to ask him is, “What field of engineering did you specialize in again?”

2. Writer:

Fact: No one marries their daughter off to a writer. Movies take a stance on writers in a way that portrays them as overtly complicated people with a drinking habit and a tragic love story. It’s the same every time. Writers can be cool too. Hic!

3. Painter:

A random hand moves on the canvas, and the result ends up being awesome. We don’t know where the painter got the paint from, or if he can paint in the first place. But when he shows the final artwork, there is always that one guy whose expression says, “Bro, so much art!”

4. Reporter:

From April O’Neil to Lois Lane, if something mysterious is going down, the reporter has to be there. Far from being realistic, the only job a reporter has in every movie is to be way too close to the trouble. They also work as a medium to tell the audience exactly what is happening in the film, because we would be totally confused if they didn’t.

5. Fashion Designer:

What better way to let the audience know that a character is gay, than by depicting him as a fashion designer? They’ve got the walk and the talk, complete with the limp arm. Because that’s how stereotypical every gay person is. And their fashion sense is horrible too.

6. Politician:

Corruption, corruption everywhere. The politicians are to blame!

Almost every other movie has a strong antagonist, who is a politician and is out to destroy the hero. Why can’t we just have honest, white-collared politicians in films for a change? Oh wait.

7. Doctor:

Thanks to Sooraj Barjatya and team, we can never look at doctors the same way. It must require a lot of expertise to sing and dance with the entire family and be there for each of the daughters-in-law’s deliveries.

Doctors in films are usually seen wearing borrowed lab clothes and a stethoscope, with a nurse in tow for some reason. It must grind one’s gears when a medically-proficient individual says, “Ab sab kuch Bhagwaan ke haathon me hai (It is all in the hands of God now.)”. Well then, I guess I won’t have to pay my medical bills after all.

8. Model:

It isn’t easy to survive in the modelling industry. But if films are to be trusted, then all a model needs to do is be skinny, expressionless and well, look into the camera seductively. Way to hide the fact that the actress can’t act for peanuts.

9. Police Inspector:

Director – “You play a police officer in this movie.”

Actor – “Wow, I am super excited to play a police officer for the 30th time. I feel like I was born to play this role.”

10. Family Business:

When a character is said to be taking care of the family business, it basically means he is a college drop-out with no talent whatsoever. No wonder they usually cast sons and daughters of previously-famous actors for such roles.

11. Bhai:

You know what they say.

“The actor doesn’t choose the thug role. The thug role chooses the actor.”
Bollywood films love their Bhais unshaven and unruly, clad in a fish-net vest and an unbuttoned fluorescent shirt. Are we sure he is not a fashion designer?

We can laugh all we want at these generic job profiles used in films, but deep down, we all know that nothing will change. Sometimes, all you want to do is tell the scriptwriter that there are better back-stories out there.

Get a job… Quite literally!

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