It must take a special kind of talent to make a film as incoherent and inept as O Teri. I’ve seen eight-year-olds put up skits in their building compound that were more engaging than this film. Intended as a satire on the nexus between dishonest politicians, greedy industrialists and an unethical media, the film sets out to make a comment on the deep-rooted corruption that plagues our country. But boy, does it tire you out in the process!
 
Say hello to our protagonists, a pair of down-on-their-luck TV reporters – nicknamed PP (Pulkit Samrat) and AIDS (don’t even ask! Bilal Amrohi) – who desperately need to break a big story if they are to keep their jobs. Fortunately for them, the bumbling duo repeatedly chances upon vital evidence that could expose the shady businesses of a crooked neta (Anupam Kher), his arch rival (Vijay Raaz), a slinky spin-doctor (Mandira Bedi), and their own boss (Sarah Jane Dias), who’re all involved in a mysterious murder, and a scam to pocket crores of rupees from an oncoming sports event. CWG controversy, anyone?
 
Writer-director Umesh Bist, evidently a proponent of the let’s-dumb-it-down school of storytelling, delivers a hotchpotch of pedestrian humor, over-simplistic machinations, one-dimensional characters, and bewildering plot twists. The narrative is interrupted every few minutes to accommodate the obligatory dance number, but none of the tracks are particularly memorable.
 
The film’s leading men come off as vapid ‘himbos’, hired possibly for their impressive pecs and abs over any hint of acting talent. Only Vijay Raaz as the cussword-spouting, mobile phone-smashing bigwig delivers anything that resembles a performance.
 
Too shrill, too convoluted and too dumb, O Teri is an excruciating test of your patience. The first thing I did on leaving the cinema was pop a pill for my throbbing headache. I’m going with one out of five. Even Salman Khan’s item song in the end can’t soften the blow.

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