SATIRE: T20 LEAGUE NEWS
T20 LEAGUE to consider INTERNATIONAL TEAMS
In a stunning move that cements the Indian Cricket Board’s financial and emotional support to associate teams and minnows, the T20, in 2016, will hold a qualifying tournament that will include the likes of Ireland, Afghanistan, Scotland, Bangladesh, Delhi Daredevils and the disbanded Pune Warriors. While Bangladesh fans seem to be displeased with their continued status as a low-league team, Daredevils fans are elated for their team, knowing that they will definitely not finish at the bottom in this qualifying pool. While this sets the stage for the 2019 World Cup to reconsider their 10-team scenario, the League could have upto 12 teams, and the tournament may be held in phases up till 2017. It is said that the Daredevils are also considering buying out foreign players from each one of these teams in a quest to weaken their status as a T20 minnow.
WEST INDIES TO RECONSIDER INTERNATIONAL STATUS
The West Indian national team, meanwhile, desperate to get back Gayle, Bravo, Sammy and Narine into their scheme of affairs, are considering quitting as an international team and enrolling into T20 tournaments all over the world. This will encourage their freelancing superstars to wear the maroon jersey instead of having to live in four separate countries every year.
ROHIT SHARMA TO STAR IN SWAYAMWAR REALITY SHOW
Rohit Sharma, now the last remaining eligible bachelor in the Indian cricket team, will spend a month in Kolkata—allegedly the only city in which he scores runs—considering marriage proposals from the only 12 women in the country that are unaware of his no-hit nickname. Kohli is expected to make a guest appearance in an item song with Anushka Sharma, while Dhoni, Raina and Jadeja—who claims that he is a more eligible bachelor than Rohit—will be seen judging the contestants and choosing who they think is best for Rohit and Team India.
JADEJA TO RETIRE FROM ALL FORMS OF GALLI CRICKET
This decision has taken the country by storm, with fans of all shapes, sizes and ages crying themselves silly after being faced with their greatest crisis. Jadeja, who has not exactly taken international cricket by storm, has now decided to quit galli (street) cricket with kids and overweight Sunday-cricket uncles in order to concentrate on professional cricket and do his talent justice. He has also decided to grow his beard till he takes more than 1 wicket in a match. This could be a longer wait than Sachin Tendulkar’s quest for that elusive 101st century.