Who are we kidding? When a choreographer turns director it’s no wonder then that the year’s hottest item song turns out to be way better than the entire film put together. The sole reason for you to walk into this madcap bizarre parody is not Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) himself but his bimbette girlfriend’s sizzling advances.
But can an item song alone sustain the film at the BO? Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan is a poor remake of Peter Sellers’ 1966 remake After The Fox. The almost non existential storyline dwells on a master criminal’s mega plan to enlist an entire village in a grand heist under the pretext of filming a movie. Like its predecessor, this one is also going to fail to please the critics.
Self-proclaimed Tees Maar Khan, Tabrez Mirza Khan (Akshay Kumar) is a born criminal. In a raucously funny way, watch him dance and prance around as an eyebrow-ring studded baby in his mother’s womb. Courtesy his mother’s avid crime movie watching habits, his training starts early –yes, in her womb. He grows up to be a garish boisterous con man who can open any lock. After evading the police for the nth time, he’s hired by Siamese twins – Johri brothers to carry out the biggest heist he’s ever going to pull off. His lame bungling sidekicks – Burger, Dollar and Soda don matching shirts with awkward prints that seem far from the intended purpose of being funny. Product placement attains new heights as the word “Dollar” repeats itself over ‘Dollar Club’, ‘Dollar banyan’ and even in dialogues. Close to the credits, Katrina’s Veet commercial is squeezed in.
In order to feign the film-making, TMK hires movie star Aatish Kapoor (Akshaye Khanna). In an applause worthy hilarious performance, Khanna plays an Oscar obsessed mega star who is in search of that ‘garib indian’ role that will win him the Oscar. TMK approaches him as Hollywood director Manoj Day Ramalan instead of Manoj Night Shyamalan. Watch Khanna explode into ‘Day-Ho’ and spoof after spoof of Slumdog Millionaire follows. Anya (Katrina Kaif), TMK’s gal who is smitten by the movie bug and stars in B-grade movies is also roped in. Katrina plays a very irritating brainless Barbie with lines like – “Oh Pink! my favorite colour!” How cliché?Main Hoon Naa had a fun campus feel, Om Shanti Om mocked the traditional formulaic Bollywood love sagas and dealt with reincarnation, Tees Maar Khan too starts in full Farah flavor – bold, brash, colourful with spoof after spoof of mainstream Bollywood but the story and plot fail to tie it all up together. At times even the humour lacks wit and punch. It’s embarrassing to be thought of as an audience with such low IQ and lame sense of humour. Everything is over-the-top. Akshay Kumar seems to be screaming out every dialogue to ensure you hear him and applaud for his tacky bleeped one-liners. If you thought the disaster that he was in Action Replayy was bad luck, think again.
What seems like a promising start, post-interval takes a steep downhill journey. Random acts are aimlessly inserted in to make a very patchy story – what’s with the headless sword wielding ghost in the forbidden jungle? Even the music (Vishal-Shekhar) fails to hold your attention (except for infectious chartbuster Sheila Ki Jawani and qawalli Wallah Re Wallah). Guest appearances by Salman Khan and Anil Kapoor have been thrown in for good measure.
All-in-all, one just didn’t expect Farah to scale such lows!
(Suggest you to watch Sheila and escape in the break!)