Sunday, Bangalore
If there were ever two teams in desperate need of a liposuction operation followed by a desperate Heimlich maneuver, RCB and MI—led by two of India’s batting stars in Rohit and Kohli—need lip-to-mouth and mouth-to-lip and hand-to-heart resuscitation pronto.
These are two teams that have the maximum amount of expensive individual stars, but somehow always find themselves struggling to make the playoffs. Mumbai’s weakness, their batting, is RCB’s strength—what with Gayle, Kohli and AB at the top. But Kohli has been in Nohit form, while Rohit has scored two ducks after his Eden Gardens’ 98. Both bowling attacks look as toothless, with there being little hope by way of form, strategy and planning.
Here is a semi-fictional statistical review of this match between two wannabe giants of the format:
200: Number of sixes hit by Gayle in the T20 League games, 67 more than the next best Raina. 
190: Number of times AB de Villiers has come in too late at no. 4 to actually make a difference, or too early with too much pressure after the early departure of the top 3.
100: Number of matches Kohli will lose as RCB captain before considering that maybe he isn’t such a good leader. 
8: Position MI are at in the league table. Dead last, like in 2014, where they lost the first 5 games. 
8: Number of players out of form in their team, including captain Rohit. 
9: Number of years it seems to have been since Malinga took a crucial wicket, or any wicket at all.
100: Percentage that RCB’s bowling will profit from the arrival of Mitchell Starc. 
100: Percentage that RCB might be out of the playoff race by the time Starc actually arrives. 
99: Percentage that MI would not have played Hazelwood even if he wasn’t injured and the only in-form bowler in a squad that has the likes of Kumble, Ponting, Rhodes, Tendulkar, Wright at the helm. 
100: Number (in thousands) of fans that would prefer watching Rohit, Kohli, Anderson, Gayle, AB, Pollard play for the same T20 team. 
10: Number (in thousands) of out-of-work Kingfisher staffers that would wish to see no T20 team at all. 
8: Probability, in percentage, that Force India might do a better job on the flat Bangalore track.

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