Phase 1 (technically) of the T20 cricket league is almost over. Most teams will be relieved to leave the alien conditions of UAE and its new stadiums/pitches and head back home to their comfort zones. But is India really their home? A bit of number-crunching from this short first leg will give us the answers…

300: Maxwell has scored 300 times more than Gautam Gambhir so far.
1: Gambhir’s highest score in 4 matches
0: The probability of Gauti making it back to the Indian team
4: The number of consecutive matches defending champions MI has lost
4: The number of solid-gold players MI have let go this auction, including young spinner Chahal to RCB.
4: The number of mentors hired by the Ambanis for their team.
4: The number of millions spent by the wives of these mentors on secret shopping trips around Dubai.
7: The number of seasons RCB have taken to prove that obscenity and money doesn’t buy titles.

 

 

10: (in millions) the number of IPL viewers relieved to not be flashed by Sid Mallya’s white pants anymore.
10: The number of MoM awards deserved by cameramen for constantly capturing Senior Mallya’s beer-addled and clueless face during their 3 consecutive logic-defying losses.
1: the number of Indian viewers aware of Chris Lynn before ‘THAT’ catch.
2: The number of matches it took before THAT arrogant brat in Kohli made an appearance.
3: Number of chins in distress on Vijay Mallya’s face.
0: the number of batsmen that can read Narine after 3 T20 cricket league seasons.
150: the number of batsmen that can read Narine in Test Cricket.
50: the number of batsmen that can read.
10: The number of young Indian bowlers impressing this T20 cricket league.
43: The age of the ‘youngest’ uncapped Indian bowler in Pravin Tambe for RR.
43: The amount of words spoken by mentor Dravid in the dugout.
82: the number of times Tendulkar reiterated that he wanted to spend family time at home after retirement.
82: the number of hours he may take before relapsing and convincing himself that he is the opener MI needs.
8: the record winning streak of KXIP in IPL (3 from 2013 and 5 in a row this year). 10: the number of Aussie players shining this season.
10: the number of matches it will take for team owners to realize that their presence in the stadiums is irrelevant.
14: the number of matches before fans realize that this will be another CSK final.
14: the number of players MI need to bring their campaign back on track.
15: the number of seconds it takes for the pretty young lady presenters to realize that Rameez Raja, in the words of his ex-teammate Shoaib Akhtar, is a ‘tharki’.

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