In the vast cinematic wasteland where lousy movies end up and wither away from public consciousness, there’s a special corner reserved for the films starring Himesh Reshammiya. Over 9 years and as many films, two things have become painfully clear – that he will not stop acting, and that he cannot act.

In Teraa Surroor, directed by Shawn Arranha, Himesh fashions himself an action hero. Which means he spends virtually every moment of the film wearing tight ganjis, and he’s occasionally shirtless. That wouldn’t be such a problem if he’d put some effort into the fight scenes. But those sequences are a blur of quick cuts, slick sound effects, and stylish posturing with guns. You never once spot what even faintly looks like a convincing kick or punch, although many bad guys are sent flying into the air.
The film sees Himesh’s character, Raghu, an undercover assassin, plot his fiancé’s escape from a Dublin prison when she’s falsely framed on drug trafficking charges by a mysterious troublemaker. Between Himesh and model Farah Karimaee (who plays his love interest), they have a grand total of one expression throughout the film, and the word to describe it is ‘blank’.
Not surprisingly, there are catchy songs for every mood and occasion in the script – love song, break-up number, dance track, sad song, redemption song – and they pop up every three minutes or so, as if to distract you from the nonsensical plot and the laughable dialogue. Teraa Surroor also makes room for a handful of veteran actors to take small roles in exchange for what has to be lucrative paychecks. Naseeruddin Shah plays an expert jail-breaker who helps Raghu plan a surefire escape; Kabir Bedi is a commissioner back home in India; Shernaz Patel plays the mother of Raghu’s fiancée, and Shekhar Kapoor shows up as the Indian ambassador in Ireland. I can’t remember the last time so many talented people got together to make such a harebrained film.
Neither suspenseful in its execution of the escape, nor in the big reveal of the mastermind behind Raghu’s problems, the film seems to exist for no other purpose than to showcase Himesh and his limited talent. I’m going with one out of five for Teraa Surroor. The one star is for the gorgeous Dublin locations, and for the infectious music.

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