At roughly 2 hours and 30 minutes, The Lone Ranger, starring Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer, feels more like The Long Ranger. It’s Pirates of the Caribbean set in the Wild Wild West, with Depp repeating much of the same shtick that made his Jack Sparrow such an engaging character. He’s cast as Tonto, the Native American companion to the film’s titular hero, and he sports a dead crow on his head and face paint all over his mug. It’s a performance begging for laughs, and while some of it is indeed funny, it’s never original enough to find a spot in Depp’s canon of memorable quirky characters.
Resurrecting the adventures of a pair of galloping do-gooders from a 1930s American radio show and a subsequent TV series, the film sees the earnest John Reid (Hammer) put on a mask and morph into our crime-fighting hero when his brother is brutally murdered. With Tonto by his side, the stage is set for a bickering bromance and some elaborate set pieces. But it all comes undone from the tiring flashbacks, repeated encounters with the same villains, and a plot that never stops unfolding.
I’m going with two out of five for The Lone Ranger. There’s a thrilling sequence in the final act involving a daring rescue from a speeding train. But like the rest of the film it goes on and on and on.