Use of the sleaziest pickup lines – "I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you","Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes","Be unique and different, say yes," – is amongst the most conventional tools used to woo a girl. No matter if the trick leaves you with a print of the girl’s chappals on your face, you’d rather try this than use the songs sung by our Desi hereos in an attempt to woo the girl.
These songs, which we call the worst pickup songs, have the potential to harm you in ways unimaginable. Our desi hereos pursue girls relentlessly, zara ishtyle maarke, expect these songs with its ‘catchy’ moves to be applauded by the audience, but that’s where they falter many a time.
We’ve chosen some of the worst pickup songs our flamboyant actors could use to woo their lady love:
Statutory Warning: Do not try these on your lady. These songs can cause severe injuries.
Tu Tu Tu Tu Tu Tara:
With catchy lyrics, this song will get stuck in your head for sure, and if you so much as sing it infront of an audience you will get an are-you-out-of-your-effing-mind look. And if you sing it for the Radha of your life… err, well then, you’d better warn your brain to stop making all those wedding plans that it was busy making a short while ago. ‘Cause, babay, it ain’t working for your girl!
Kisi disco mein jaaye:
Wink, wink, wink and wink is what Raveena and Govinda could do on the tune of the song. So wink both your eyes simultaneously and picture this – you are planning your dinner date and use this song to ‘patao‘ your girl by doing that Govinda move and the next thing you know is, you are doing the dishes at your girlfriend’s place and the dinner date is called off, only ’cause you made a boo-boo. *Wink*, *Wink*, *Wink*
Aa Aa E Oo Oo Ooo:
You sing this and your girl will show you the way to the lavatory. You can enjoy the rest of the songs sitting on the commode and giving the priceless Govinda (again, sigh!) expression. I am sure he (Govinda) gets the expressive creativity from his loo breaks.
Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast:
It is as if your girl was picked up from some sale. Rather like the best grab! How could you, just, how can you sing this to her? Try singing this one and you must just be gasping for breath. And, no, this won’t be because of a romaantik lip-lock but because she will be strangling you to death! Well, I would certainly do that if my guy sang this number for me.
Maine Paidal Se Ja Raha Tha:
You sing it because you are a stalker. You do not trust your girlfriend. You are possessive about her. You want to keep an eye on her. This song leads to your breakup. Period.