ca9cgf8bca11loaccafarpqecakozqsxcaz7a60vcaf49wiyca2kduy8carpa7y6ca6eux58ca84hg7hcaz6m3p9cagjsysxcav0zmohca2io73gcajmn6occawjysmucanpa1ktca3vfjsdcacy1opu.jpgEver experienced an unpleasant insect bite? Well get ready for a repeat with “The Green Hornet”. The movie just can’t decide whether it’s a parody or an insult. For that matter it can’t seem to decide on its plot either, mirrored in the plan of action of the ‘superhero’ himself.

Man in question – Brit Reid (Seth Rogen), heir to a media empire, playboy and party monster, victim of his father’s taunts thus taken to the the lifestyle due to self-esteem issues. What his father couldn’t put to an end in life, he manages in death. Left with the mammoth responsibility of running a newspaper, Brit puts his hands up and leaves the empire to its fate.

Forward to the future and he decides to use it to promote “The Green Hornet”, his alter ego, whose identity comes into making by chance. Quick back flash: his coffee maker is not only his father’s mechanic but also a weapon connoisseur, martial arts expert and superhero nerd. Brit sees these talents as an opportunity to ‘live’ their ‘wasted’ lives and makes Kato (Jay Chou ) his trusty sidekick.

cadi0r0cca2zmedbca5i9yyzcazrqm74ca3lmzlmcaqg3ww1car8yqhgcapabawvcar9pz3ecaxwucr4caxm0im1ca5o1alocajse1ewcal8rnvmca0s1q5hcawhtvfzcaa1h226cajv4gy4ca1tjnkk.jpgThis takes so long to conspire you hope that once they start fighting crime it will get better. But no! It’s as lazy as Reid who relies on his hot, secretary’s research for his next move. Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz) may be the mastermind behind the operation but her appearances are quite haphazard.

Seth is in your face, loud and gross; basically himself. It seems as though he just came on set and cracked a few jokes judging by the effort this co-writer put into the dialogue. The humour just falls flat apart from a couple of scenes and there seems to be no real direction or build up to the climax.

cayxga8xcarp8xwvcaohqmz4ca0i5jgtcassoa2ecaho1cgzcacbo0bgcasjcrdicaiv6asecavl4jnbcanlsd00calj7dbwca9wsx4eca25ycnjcaa5ri6ccavvx4k2cacmcr2bcaifs2gfcajz8j2e.jpgWhen you finally approach it, there is a quick re-tracking of probable events, where the corrupt politician approaches a crime lord (Christoph Waltz) whose market value is descending, to dictate terms to Reid Sr. This remarkable lighting of Brit’s bulb leads to yet another car chase, guns firing and destruction.

It seems like the climax was just inserted as it seemed the only logical end to an otherwise aimless story. It barely manages to tie loose strings or make a connection with the beginning. The characters have no real definition and the brilliant actors are completely wasted. Chou is definitely charming and the handicap of language actually enhances that.

cagibkc8ca0e4ardca7q5evucanbvzp0cape0vpjcafgfe5hca3i6v17ca16mteucatfb9b8ca0i487ycaauxwebcaua9g5fca3213lycaod0usoca5vohz7cayh0uoucayg4v53caeutdyfcael238l.jpgAnother great performance is James Franco in a cameo. That and the fancy, gadget enhanced car (Black Beauty) are the best things in there.

Kato says that when his heart starts pumping it’s like time freezes. I couldn’t use a better line to sum this movie up. It’s so slow you feel like they have frozen time.

[Rating:1.5]

Raashi Malhotra

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